Stuffed and fuzzy

I own stuffed animals.

That probably seems weird.

I name them, too. Which adds to the comedy.

Bernie Boynton is my wide-eyed pig with a horse-shaped face and flapping front legs. I got him from my wife about a year ago. I can't remember why, but he has made a home in the corner of my couch ever since. He once fell in the crevice between the couch's arm and the wall. I didn't notice his absence for weeks, but I'm sure he doesn't hold a grudge.

Brat Cat Goonavich was born at Build-a-Bear. That's very interesting to me because Brat Cat is definitely not a bear. Believe me. I checked. He used to wear sunglasses, and they looked classy with his orange, tabby fur. But I broke them. He likely hates me now.

I just named Bork tonight. He is my round little friend with nappy, red hair and jagged teeth. Actually, I'm not sure if he is male. He might be a she. I haven't been able to determine that for sure. But he/she bit me once, and I threw him/her into an icicle. Now one of his/her eyes is larger than the other.

To be honest, I made most of that last paragraph up.